Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Longing

Seeing your face
My soul finally feels at peace
Seeing your face
My heartbeat does quicken in pace
The long drive is only a tease
Thoughts scattered in tiny pieces
Seeing your face

_____________________________

Her heart breaks each time she leaves.
There is nothing to put her mind at ease.
Brown eyes fill to overflowing,
But in the recesses of her mind there is a knowing
That she'll be back. And then she breathes.

She knows this one can fulfill her needs,
But everywhere she looks around her she sees
Tailights in the opposite direction - going
Her heart breaks.

She has folded her pain, leaving a crease
To tear along, hoping the hurt will cease.
She leans on the railing, smoke blowing
In the wind, tears freely flowing,
Just hoping to finally feel free.
Her heart breaks.

______________________________

The softness of your touch amazes me
Attention paid to the gentelest caress
The lightness of your fingertips almost brings me to my knees
The softness of your touch amazes me
Making me tingle, hover, as in a dream
Or wonder, puzzle, as in a test
The softness of your touch amazes me
Attention paid to the gentelest caress

______________________________________________

The wonders of your body surprise
me each time that we make love, and
I can't believe the beauty
shining through those brown eyes.
Stay here forever.
Inviting arms
await you.
Love will
stay.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Hanging On

Running out of time
Sand flows through the glass quickly
Decisions aren't made
_____________________________
That voice swells with pain
It trembles with such sadness
Shrinking behind fear
________________________
Tears won't stop falling
Eyes welling with dew each day
On the threshhold of despair
________________________
In the distance - life
New beginnings and fresh starts
It's too far away
_________________________
Clouds stay in that head
Troubling a precious mind
Creating hurt and anger
______________________
No sun will shine here
All hope has forsaken us
The distance is much too great
_________________________
Uncontrollable
Racking sobs from deep inside
Loss is felt deep down

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Drabbles

Brown eyes, intense, sad
Searching for a better life
Tears falling like rain
______________________
Beautiful woman
Soft fingers upon my back
My heart bursts with happiness
____________________________
The softest body
Warm and inviting to me
Pressing, burning, Fire
______________________
We lay in her bed
She's snuggled closely
On my shoulder, quiet
Breathing deeply, soundly
Drifting off in comfort
______________________
She's cooking breakfast
Putting weight on just one foot
Toes of the other
Suspended, grazing the floor
I watch, enraptured by her
__________________________
Jess
Eager, captivating
Loving, trusting, waiting
She sits wanting, yearning
Beauty
_____________________
Her
Black hair
Won't be tamed
Curling tightly
At
The
Nape of
That gorgeous
Sensitive neck
And
In
The bright
Sun it is
A twinkling mass
of
Stars
Looping
And shining
In between each
other
_______________
I
Brush my
Lips over
Her full, waiting
Mouth
I
Touch her
In that place
She can't resist
And
I
Kiss it
Softly in
Love and wonder
With
The
Very
Tip of my
Tongue I flick it
And
A
Soft moan
Escapes from
Her mouth. She jumps
Sighs
And
Pulls me
in deeper to
Her
_______________________
Jess
It means giving, caring, hoping
It is infinity
It is creamy morning coffee
It is seeing her our first time at the mall
It is the memory of meeting her in New Orleans
Where I first fell in love a little
When she waited with me at Cafe Du Monde
Her name is Jess
It means that she has given me her heart
_____________________________________
Part of her is vivid orange -
fresh and bright
tangy and intoxicating
drinking in the sun's rays with my hand in hers.
But deep inside there's another part,
deep sea blue, like the hottest part of a flame -
scared and uncertain
angry and resentful
burning with desire to wish things undone.
Yet they're both very real,
and they're both my sweet girl.
_____________________________________

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Taking Root


Of course it's genuine. It's real. It's exciting, scary, wonderful, intense. I wouldn't have quit my career, uprooted my life, and moved to another state on a whim. The feelings are there. They're permanent. Yes, it's been fast, but it's also been a long time coming. Honestly, I have wanted her since the first day I met her. And anyway, I'm not looking for "just" a relationship. It's settle down time, time to start actually living my life, both for myself and my love, who so desperately and achingly needs it. No more messing around, wasting time. There is no more time to waste, for either of us. I'm filled with trepidation and am leaving my comfort zone and going into a complete unknown. Blind. My heart is leading me. But I can't wait. My heart is pumping, my blood racing. She doesn't have to worry with me or about me. It does seem too good to be true, though, like it's all one colossal joke that's being played on me, a payback for all of my wrongdoings, and it's going to be yanked out from under me just when I'm at my most content. I'm here for her, though. She can rely on me, trust me, feel comfort because of me. I need it too, though. Neither of us has had a very easy time before incredibly inbelievable circumstances led us to each other's waiting arms. I want someone who is eager to come home to me or is excited for me to come home. Care about what kind of day I had. Surprise me on occasion, not because you feel like you have to, but simply because you care enough to want to. Watch me when I'm not looking. Touch me nonchalantly when you walk past me. Love me.

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu

Saturday, April 22, 2006

A Few of My Favorite Things

You fill my heart to overflowing and sometimes I don’t feel that I can stand the intensity of it all. There are so many things you do that make my head spin and my insides quiver.
I love

the way you look without any makeup on, especially when you don’t like it so much. You’re at your most beautiful then, even though you don’t think so. Feisty.


your sweet smile and the cute dimples it makes. They change your whole face, making you seem a little more innocent than you are. Your entire being seems to lighten up. I don’t see either as much as I’d like, so for me, it’s a treat.


your smell. You are so clean, so pure, so comforting. You smell like home, like safety, like love. One of my favorite things is to bury my face in your neck, on the side, or behind an ear, or on the back under those beautiful black curls, and just inhale. I want all of you inside me.


the way you walk. You have attitude, and it makes you swagger, swinging those sexy hips from side to side. I can’t get enough of watching you from behind. It’s like you’re on a mission every time you place one foot in front of the other, everyone else watch out!


that you’re such a woman and love makeup, perfume, and shopping! And those curves, my God those curves…


your lips—those full, delicious, gorgeous lips. I watch you talk just so I can see the nuances of their movement. I love kissing them and sucking on them, running my tongue over them when we make love. You say they are your daddy’s lips, and for that, I am ever so grateful.


your accent. It defines you in some ways, makes you part of who you are. I devour every word that comes out of your mouth, savoring and enjoying the stresses and syllables new to my ears. I love it most when you say my name.


that beautiful, black, unruly hair. Those curly tresses drive me wild.

your body—every single soft brown inch of it. Baby, even though you may not think so, you really are one of the most unbelievably stunning women I’ve ever seen in my life.


the small of your back, where it dips deep down, curving in right above your butt. That’s where I like to kiss and lick and run my lips—right there in that valley.


when you look at me or touch me when you’re not supposed to, and when you say something that you know I can’t respond to because I’m around other people. I know you know it makes me want you more, and that’s exactly why you do it.


your laughs—the quiet chuckle when you’ve done or said something naughty—the big, boisterous, hearty laugh when you’re really excited or happy, mostly around your family—the little hum hum under your lips that you push out with the back of your throat, the one that escapes when you feel comfort, when you’re tired, or just waking up.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Spring Is Here

The Other Side

Selfishness has always come easy for me. It's never been something I've had to work at; in fact, it's quite easy being all about me, me, me. However, I have recently come to realize that that may have been a major factor in my unhappiness.

I've never really understood the unconditional love a parent has for a child, a parent who would give everything of themself and more just to ensure the happiness of another human being. I believe I know something of that selflessness now. It's not because I have become a mother, though. It's because I have found someone who doesn't make me think twice about myself.

I have fallen so utterly hard in love that I'm finally not my number one priority now. And I like it. I like it a lot. It's a little confounding to me that giving everything of myself to someone else can be so rewarding. It's somewhat of a mystery to me, but not one that I find necessary to solve. I'm content with trying to give her the world. I want her to have not only everything she needs, but also everything she wants. I want her to want for nothing.

And yes, it all is something of a paradox because I am, in fact, doing something that makes me happy. But it's not all about me anymore. It is imperative that she feel loved and wanted and important and and safe when I wrap my arms around her. She is my world.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

A Lifting, Clearing


Dark eyes searching,
delving deep into my soul
probing,
hunting
for a spark of the truth that I promised
or
a clue to another heart breaking facade.
Pain lies in those dark pools,
often misted over
with the threat of tears.
The hurt burrows deep,
unwilling to relinquish the tortured heart
that it has overwhelmed.
It's losing its strength,
becoming weakened by
love and caring
trust and honesty
loyalty and hope.
Soon, those pools will be clear.
Sparkling.
Shining.
Twinkling in the light of love.